One

Sorry for the absence again, but we had a laptop crash! I hadn't backed up my pics forever, and I was SO terrified that I would lose them. But, most were recovered-YEAH! I lost just about everything else though. So, I have been "unplugged" whether I wanted to be or not. :)


This past week Kya turned 1! I can't believe it and it still doesn't seem real. She has changed SO substantially in the time that she has been with us, that it blows me a way. To look back at our first 6 weeks or so together, you would never know she was the same kid. She was so scared, and confused, and greiving and just plain old miserable. It hurts so much to think of all that she has been through in her short year on this planet, to think of all that she had been through before she met us that she reacted that strongly to another change.

And, I didn't help. I was so taken aback by her reaction to us(me in particular), and so unprepared for it that I just struggled to make it through the day. I was clobbered by a case of Post Adoption Depression (similar to post-partum depression) that took me so by suprise. I knew that she had every right to go through all that she was, but the reality of living with it was very different. So, I couldn't give her all that she needed in that moment, and I am so sorry for that. It has taken us some time to really fall in love with each other, and I am so happy to say that we are finally there.

I have thought so much about her birth family and just wish there was someway that they would know she was okay. I wish they could see the amazing little girl she has grown into. It is something I struggle with each year as my girls have gotten older. It's bittersweet, because I love getting to see them grow and flourish, but my thoughts are never far from their birth families.

But, Kya has really grown into a sweet little girl. She is sensitive and loving, smart, curious, determined, obedient, and a great compliment to her big sister. I truly am humbled by the amount she has changed in our time together. I have no idea how she has been this resilient, but I am thankful she is.

She says Da-Da, Hi, Nenna (for Kenna), Nigh-Night (for sleep), Uh-Oh, and is starting to do some animal sounds. She knows how to say mommy, but won't do it unless she is hurt. She will actually shake her head no when you ask her to say mommy and then will turn and smile at me-little turkey! She is close to walking and is very much a toddler already. Can't wait to see where the next year takes us. :)

Oh, and she knows how to use the potty already! If we put her on the toilet and tell her to go potty she does!! It is crazy and I just discovered she could do it by accident. This gives me hope that maybe she will potty train early and there will be no diapers even sooner than I hoped! It is wonderful, but I don't expect it to stick around. She looks so hilarious sitting there though.