The Tough Questions Begin

Makenna is 2 1/2. Everynight we read stories before she goes to bed. She has a pile near her bed, and chooses 2-3 books to read before we pray and snuggle. EVERY night she chooses Over the Moon-an adoption tale. It's one of her favorite books (with no prompting from us, we want her to choose) and she knows the story. Because it's about adoption, we use it as a stepping stone to conversations about her adoption story. She listens, but has never asked, until tonight.....

There is a part of the story where it says the baby grew in another ladies tummy. So she asked me "me in mama Kari's tummy?" I said "no, not in mommy's tummy, but you grew in your Ethiopian mommy's tummy." "What her name mommy?" I just looked at her sweet face and tried to fight back tears. "I don't know yet baby." is all I could say and she didn't ask anymore. I don't know why, but I just wasn't prepared for the question. And, it re-inforced how much it breaks my heart to not have the answers for her. I really don't know her name. I really don't know anything, or have any of the answers to any of her questions. And, she's only 2 1/2--we've got years worth of questions to go!

We have practiced what we will say to her and have talked to her about her adoption since she came home. But, it so much harder than I expected it to be now that she is starting to really understand. I am overwhelmed and am feeling so many emotions. Ugh!